


Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

by kVader



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Marvel, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Pick-Up Lines, Cute, Fun, M/M, Wade. You need to stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-19
Updated: 2017-09-19
Packaged: 2018-12-31 13:20:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12133377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kVader/pseuds/kVader
Summary: Wade uses the old way of flirting to show his love.





	Even if there wasn't gravity on earth, I'd still fall for you.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Vixen13](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vixen13/gifts).
  * Translation into Русский available: [Даже если бы гравитация не действовала на меня, я все равно бы пал к твоим ногам.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12235230) by [FSergeich](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FSergeich/pseuds/FSergeich)



> This is for my beautiful beta reader, I love you! (It probably has mistakes since she didn't fix them.)
> 
> Anyway, here's to you <3 lol

Wade sighs dramatically dragging it as he looks at the screen, where he is winning another round of Mario Kart. 

"I swear I'm about to turn off my hearing aid if you keep doing that." Clint grunts, cursing when his Luigi falls down the rainbow road. 

"I'm trying to deal with an existential crisis," Wade mumbles, sighing again. 

Clint rolls his eyes, kicking Wade when Princess Peach, who the mercenary is driving, throws him a banana peel. "I can't see what the crisis is, you should just tell him."

"Do you think I haven't tried it a thousand times already? The guy thinks I'm joking."

"It's your fault for always acting like a clown, no one takes you seriously."

"It's in my nature," Wade says, putting a fistful of popcorn into his mouth, and babbling out his words "Not being able to use sarcasm it's like telling the Kardashians to stop using botox, it's just not possible."

Clint snorts, shaking his head and taking his own portion of popcorn. "I still think you should be honest, we're talking about Peter here, the kid is the only one next to me who doesn't want to kill you."

Wade sighs again as he wins another round of Mario Kart. Clint curses under his breath, taking out his cell phone to read a text that Nat sent him, and laughs as soon as he does. "Hey Wade."

"Hm?" The mercenary turns to look at him, and Clint snorts again.

"Are you an orphanage? Cause I wanna give you kids."

The archer looks at Wade as he bites his lip to keep from laughing, but Wade's eyes shine at that very moment, smiling broadly, and Clint begins to shake his head. "No, Wade."

"Yes, Wade."

~ * ~

The mercenary is walking, while he finishes eating a quesadilla he had just bought in the new Mexican restaurant that opened around the corner from his apartment, when he hears some whining and a cute and well-known voice that is scolding someone.

"You should have more respect for the elders, I imagine that your grandmothers wouldn't like to see how you behave."

Wade smiles, turning around the building to find Peter immobilizing some guys with his webs, who were about to flee down the same alley that Wade entered.

One of the guys is running toward Wade, looking back with a smile because he thinks he's going to be able to escape, but as soon as he looks to the front, his smile disappears and his eyes change the tint of happiness to give way to ones that pray for a miracle.

Wade winks under the mask, and hits him in the face just before he can pass, making the guy fall to the floor. The mercenary shrugs and bites another piece of quesadilla, while Peter throws a web at the thief and pulls him toward the others.

"Better luck next time," Wade says.

Peter ties the guy, sticking him against the wall, and smiles under his mask when Wade approaches. "Hey, thanks for that."

"It was nothing Baby Boy, whatcha doing?"

Peter shrugs, glaring at the three guys on the wall. "These men tried to rob a lady."

"It's good that you were here to stop them."

Peter laughs, shrugging and scratching the back of his neck. "You wanna come with me and give the lady's purse back?"

"Sure," Wade says, tossing the wrapper of his quesadilla into the trash as they walk the streets of New York and Peter calls the police to inform them of the guys he left tied up on the wall.

They arrive at a supermarket, where a cute lady with white hair is waiting while talking to the guard of the place, and when she sees Peter -well Spider-man and Deadpool- she smiles as if it were God's second coming.

"You got them, sweetheart," says the woman, hugging Peter and Wade before the superhero can give her the purse.

Peter chuckles and Wade blushes, mostly because basically a Golden Girl is hugging him, and because he actually did nothing, which he feels the need to say. "I didn't-"

"It was a pleasure for us, ma'am," interrupts him Peter, smiling in Wade's direction.

The woman grins, nodding as she takes the bag that Peter hands her "You two are angels, boys."

Wade feels his cheeks burn and wants to hug the lady again, but remembers that he must remain serious. Peter smiles and nods "It's no problem, just watch out for thieves."

The lady nods and Wade knows this is his chance. The mercenary clears his throat, attracting the attention of both Peter and the lady, and the guard who no one remembers that was still there. Wade has an audience, that's fine, even better.

"You shouldn't be surprised of thieves, because you have a face that can steal hearts."

Peter keeps looking at him, and Wade can assume that he is blinking several times under the mask just like the guard at his side. The lady, on the other hand, lets out a loud, happy laugh. "Oh my, how sweet!"

"What does that -?" Peter asks, tilting his head to the side.

Wade clears his throat and starts to walk away. "Look at that, it's late, see you later, Baby Boy. It was a pleasure, ma'am."

The lady is still laughing when Wade disappears as fast as he can from the scene.

~ * ~

And that was the first of many.

In the lab:

"Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're CuTe."

Bruce and Peter watch as Wade runs off, to which the scientist raises an eyebrow. "What was that?"

Peter sighs and shrugs "I have no idea."

In the kitchen:

"Is your daddy a Baker? Because you've got some nice buns!"

Steve blinks several times, holding under his arm the cake mix that he's going to make. "Was that Wade?"

"Yup," Peter says, mixing the eggs at his side.

"And what was that?"

Peter sighs again "I have no idea."

During training:

"Was your dad a boxer? Cause you're a knockout!"

Nat shakes her head, staring at the door where Wade just passed by. "It's the third time this week, isn't it?"

Peter nods and sighs, taking off his training gloves.

At the lab 2:

"Was that my CPU malfunctioning or did I just feel a spark between us?"

Tony and Peter watch as Wade runs away and as Clint, who was walking with the mercenary, slaps his palm on his forehead while shaking his head.

"What the hell is he trying?" Tony asks.

Peter shrugs, returning to his work "I would like to know."

Tony snorts, shaking his head and rolling his eyes. "Well, he needs better lines, because those are pitiful."

"Hey Tony!" Wade screams in the distance. "Are you from Europe? Because europe piece of shit"

"Fuck you, Wilson!"

~ * ~

"I don't have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?" 

"That's it!" Peter says, standing up from the chair where he was reading a book.

Wade is about to fly away, but Bruce blocks the exit door of the living room. The mercenary turns to one of the windows, but Clint won't let him do it.

"Come on, guys!"

"Wade Winston Wilson," Peter says behind him.

Wade swallows hard, this is it, the moment of confrontation, where the jokes will not work as his ally and Peter will reject him without hesitation. Slowly, the mercenary turns with a grimace and shrunken shoulders, to a Peter standing behind him, who is looking at Wade with seriousness and crossed arms. Wade cleares his throat to start explaining, but Peter interrupts him.

"Hey Wade, are you a bank loan? Because you’ve got my interest."

Wade blinks several times, looking at Peter, who slowly starts to smile, letting out a giggle. Behind them, Clint and Bruce snort, walking out the living room to leave them alone.

Peter entwines his hands on his back and begins to move his torso like a flustered kid. "So, what do you think? Did I pass the test?"

"The, t-test?" Wade stutters, watching as Peter comes toward him nodding.

"Would you mind explaining what you feel for me in your own words?" Wade keeps blinking, and Peter smiles. "Wade, you wanna go out with me?" The mercenary nods slowly and Peter chuckles.

"See? It wasn't that hard, was it?"

Wade shakes his head and Peter laughs again, bending over to place his arms on Wade's neck, and pull him toward his lips, giving the mercenary time to react while slowly kissing him. Wade opens his eyes wide and gasps.

"Holy shit!" He says when Peter moves away with a laugh. "We should do that again."

Peter nods and this time Wade participates, wrapping Peter around the waist and deepening the kiss, moaning while biting the brunet's lip. "Please call 9-1-1, because you just made my heart stop."

"Wade, stop."

"Okay."


End file.
